By Anne Elise Cairns
T
hree generations of mothers and daughters, Merida Smith Brooks 70, Lydia Brooks Andrews 48, and Brooks Marie Andrews 21, lead their lives to better themselves, put the Word of God first, and pave the way for the future generations in their family.
“To listen to women’s voices and to listen to women’s stories, it’s why daughters are important, it’s why mothers are important and it’s why grandmothers are important. You pass these stories down as strength and fortitude and perseverance and love and sacrifice and joy and sorrow,” said Merida Smith Brooks.
In Merida’s life, the shift of being a daughter to a mother to a grandmother has been a beautiful picture of motherhood and God’s grace.
“I’m so proud and grateful to be your mom (Lydia). And then this is the cherry on top (Brooks). It’s true. It’s true.” Said Merida.
It has been the honor of her life to raise her children and watch her children raise their own children.
“You know, women who sacrifice for the people that they love, they’re the happy ones. You know, so I think, I think that’s a piece of womanhood here. Which is so biblical to find life you’ve got to lose life, you know.”
Merida sees power in the fortitude that women hold up within themselves, especially watching Lydia grow up and raise Brooks. She explained that after her 70 years of life it has been a gift to watch the Fruit of God’s Word and the truth of God’s Word in each generation by her children being able to pour more life into their children than she did thanks to the Lord.
“You pass these stories down and they become so much more than just a story. They become your story. They become life’s strength to you. And it’s that invisible river that somehow, I don’t know how the Lord does it, but it flows down through the generations,” said Merida
Intentional conversation between kids and their parents was very limited in Merida’s generation. She has loved living with her daughter Lydia and watching Lydia’s intentional conversations with her daughter Brooks and her siblings. Merida has noticed that Lydia’s generations parenting style recognizes the reality of culture, and are not afraid to talk about it with their children.
Merida’s daughter Lydia said, “She raised me and my sisters, to be honest and be aware, you know, treat yourself like a lady, and then you will be treated like a lady.”
As her parents left their hometowns, and as she and her husband did, Lydia wanted her children to have the freedom to “go on an adventure” and find their own motivations. Lydia observed that because her parents had the courage to leave what they knew and start a fresh life when she got married, there was that unspoken truth that that was acceptable. “It is interesting-the way you are raised effects you in ways you don’t understand until later,” said Lydia.
She wanted her kids to make choices based on what was best for them not make choices just because it was “what mom and dad did.”
When it comes to carrying on generational behaviors from her parents, Lydia explained one of the things her mom did that was very invaluable was being there: “Being present in a consistent manner in your children’s lives when they’re little. And spending that time doing some basic training and consistency… I think children thrive on that. I am thankful I was able to do that”
While she said she recognizes all the potential obstacles to being rooted in the word of God in this world, she was grateful she was able to carry that on. Lydia hopes that when her children have children of their own they carry that on. “There’s a lot of things I did carry forward and wanted to carry forward” Lydia said, when it comes to raising her kids like she was raised, “being anchored on God’s word is for sure something I wanted to carry forward.”
“Women can just come in with such a gentle whisper that is so powerful,” said Brooks.
Raising a new generation comes with its own challenges regardless of outward influence. Women have things they want to carry on to their children but also many things that they want to change. Brooks also wants to encourage her kids to have healthy and clear conversations someday when she has kids. Brooks hopes for her children to know that there is grace to work through things when they make mistakes. Being able to share stories from her life and experiences to help with decisions is very important to her. Both her and her sister called her mom Lydia for some advice.
Neither she or her sister liked the advice they were given. Lydia said she would not have given them that advice unless they asked for it. Brooks appreciates the fact that they both felt safe enough to call, ask and were given the space to disagree and make their own decision. They both chose to take their moms advice because they trust her and are friends with her as well as having a mother-daughter relationship.
There is freedom in equipping your children and taking that risk to let them make their own decisions and their own mistakes. That freedom is powerfully healthy. As a mother, knowing what questions to ask, when to stay quiet and listen, and when to give advice is something Brooks really wants to instill in her children someday. She believes that it is imperative for her kids to know how to think for themselves and be emotionally aware so they can regulate themselves.
“There’s just something very biblical about a woman’s perspective and wisdom that she gives to other women and men that everybody needs.” Said Brooks.
“There is a strength women have,” said Brooks. “Steel magnolias” added Merida.
